Two weeks’ notice

VIEWPOINT

‘U-S-A! U-S-A!’

By RALPH HARDIN

Evening Times Editor H ave you been watching the Olympics? I think we’re a little over halfway through the 2024 Summer Games over in Paris, and I will admit that I watch basically none of these sports outside of when they come on TV every four years as part of the Olympics (well, I guess technically it’s only been three years since the 2020 games got bumped back a year thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, but you get the point).

And as long as we’re being honest, I don’t really even understand the rules to a bunch of these sports. In fact, there was some weird game on the other day where Brazil was playing France and I didn’t even know what sport it was. It was like soccer meets basketball meets rugby or something. Turns out it was called “handball,” which I guess makes sense, since they were indeed holding the ball in their hands, passing it to one another and trying to throw it into a goal. It was weird … but I watched it nonetheless.

Because, I mean, when else am I going to see elite level athletes play in these weird sports? I’ve watched field hockey, cycling, discuss throwing and all sorts of diving and swimming competitions.

I also love that there’s 3-on-3 basketball, played pretty much just like we used to play out in the driveway when we are kids (only with NBA-level players). Pretty crazy. There’s also surfing, judo and (checks notes) break-dancing coming up.

There are always these fascinating human interest stories that come out of the Olympics. My current favorite is the sharpshooter from Turkey. While everyone else was decked out in all this gear and such and looking like they were in some sci-fi space marines movie, this dude walked up like he was playing in a backyard cornhole game and shot for a silver medal in an outfit that I might wear to a barbecue at my cousin’s house. Fantastic. It does make me wonder how there weren’t any Americans on the podium in the shooting events. How is America not best in the world at “guns”? Charlton Heston would be ashamed.

Aside: Since I mentioned it, how is cornhole not an Olympic sport?

Anyways, I find myself fascinated for a very brief time with sports like badminton, ping-pong, and the delightful equestrian events. There was a sad moment there the other day when this lady’s horse just decided he did not want to Olympic that particular day, and four years of waiting were just out the window for his poor rider (but if you haven’t seen the “selfie” of the guy with his horse and his gold medal, it’s worth a Google). Again, no Americans on the podium. How is America not best at “horses”? John Wayne would be ashamed.

And I’ve enjoyed watching some of the sports that I do actually watch from time to time, like tennis, basketball and golf (which I think starts today). Now, basketball… there’s a game America is still best at! I do love that there are enough international basketball players that it’s not total domination like it was back in 1992 when the original “Dream Team” just annihilated everyone but we still are able to be a dominant force.

It’s cool to see some of these small or poor countries have success. I watched every lap of the Men’s 10,000 Meter Finals the other day and this guy from Uganda won the gold. It was his country’s first gold medal, like, ever. He was super proud. Almost as happy for him were the Ethiopian runner who took second and the American runner who got the bronze. So, good for Uganda. But at the end of the day, I’m pulling for my country. We’ve done pretty well. By the time you read this, this information will be somewhat dated but currently, the United States is sitting atop the leader board with 79 overall medals, tied with China for the most gold medals at 21 apiece. Not that “winning” the Olympics as a country is really what this is all about.

One little note: For any of you who were offended by the Opening Ceremonies, why? It has been made very clear that the so-called “Last Supper” display was 100 percent not that. Why would it have been? The whole entire presentation was about French history and culture and da Vinci’s famous painting has nothing to do with Paris, with France or anything else that was in the show, which was admittedly sometimes a little weird (singing headless Marie Antoinette?). But, I guess some folks are just addicted to outrage and will look for anything to be mad about. If you really want to be mad about something, how is no one upset that The Minions stole the Mona Lisa and left it floating in the Seine River?

Anyway, enjoy the rest of the Olympics and go Team U.S.A.!