Holiday hijinx in Judge Thorne’s court

‘District Court Report’ By Coretta Allen

Twas the Monday before Christmas and Judge Fred Thorne’s courtroom was stuffed like a stocking from Santa Claus.

The docket was filled with 28 inmates from The Crittenden County Jail to start the morning in West Memphis District Court.

“Take Me Out To The Ballgame!”

The first man in front of the judge had been banned from Southland since 2014. The judge asked him why he went back. The guy said he only went to watch the ballgame. The judge told him that could get out of jail the next day at 6. He also told him to never go back.

“No Trespassing” The next man up was also charged with trespassing at Southland, though his ban had been far more recent. He went back after being barred in August. He told the judge that he went “to hang out with friends.” The judge ordered him not to ever go back.

“Casting the First Stone” A woman called up to the bench was charged with disorderly conduct at Southland.

“The gentleman on the machine besides me, hit me across the head,” said the lady.

The judge scolded her for how bad she talked to the security officers, but she denied the allegations.

She was charged $400 plus court costs.

“A Christmas Carol” “Is your nickname ‘Scrooge’?” the judge asked the next defendant. “No sir,” he replied.

“Well, why did you go to your girlfriend’s job and snatch all of the ornaments off their Christmas tree?” asked the judge.

The guy admitted that he did it because he didn’t want to help her set up for her job’s Christmas party. He was given fines, costs and was given a “no contact” order.

“A Blue Christmas” Several young men were on the docket for domestic battery charges. The judge told them, “Your girlfriends must be pretty tired of you if they called the police on you all right here at Christmas time.”

They were all handed down fines, court costs and issued “no contact” orders.