New Sultana Museum site revealed to be ‘Area 52’

Government plans on housing alien refugees in Marion facility

By Tyler Durden

Times Staff Reporter

While much of the nation’s attention has been directed on attempts to remove illegal aliens from Mexico back across the border, it was revealed today that all of that was just misdirection as the government has been secretly working with a completely different kind of alien.

It turns out that the work being done at the old Marion gym to build a new home for the Sultana Disaster Museum was actually a front for building “Area 52,” a new housing facility for LGM’s or Little Green Men.

Marion Mayor Tracy Brick said she was caught by surprise, only learning the news when she was accidentally included in a top-secret government group chat.

“I had no idea,” said Brick.

“We will, of course, welcome these LGMs to the community… and the city will definitely benefit from the increased tourism dollars from folks coming to town to see the aliens. We might even need to build three or four more hotels.”

In response to the news, Shake Shack has announced it will add a new 52-ounce Flying Saucer Burger to its manu,