The exhausting way to cram all your field trips into one weekend

I laugh a little when I consider our schooling history. We started homeschooling when we lived in Chattanooga with five children under age 6, simply for the ease of it, if you believe it. Don’t even ask why we didn’t enroll anyone in preschool. You know why. It starts with Outrageous and ends with Cost. I don’t even think I could have found a job to pay enough to cover preschool for four kids.

At any rate, mid-February of 2020, we enrolled one child in junior high for the purpose of playing baseball.

Three weeks later, Covid shut the entire world down.

In a comical twist of the universe, we were back to homeschooling.

Now, all our kids are thriving in traditional school, but I really miss going on adventures with them! I suppose administrators call them field trips but sadly limit it to twice a year.

I found myself longing for some fun time with the kids recently, so this past weekend, I just loaded up our schedule and went for it, to which my husband replied, “Are you sure you can handle all that?”

It’s a valid question. The work I did for a family wedding early in the month just zapped my energy for an entire week! I could have spent seven full days in bed if it weren’t for the necessity of momming. I’ve made myself indispensable, especially when it comes to anything food-related or the location of any item in the house.

Our family recently played an inter-relational guessing game where players matched descriptions to other players. One of the descriptors said, “I’d rather stay home than go out because I hate people, and I love my couch.”

I was amazed and a little appalled that every member of my family assigned that value to me! I don’t hate people! But upon introspection, I did realize I may have expressed that exact sentiment on occasion.

That occasion being after 7pm on a weeknight.

So yeah, energy is a big deal to consider for my middle- aged self. But I don’t hate people, y’all. My kids just think I do.

This particular Saturday, we planned a visit to the Amuse Museum in Memphis, where “museum” does not connote “quiet and still.”

This place is quite the opposite. The former Pier One space is fitted with multiple micro-rooms where teams of 2-6 players have to complete tasks, much like playing a video game, except you are the player in the video game.

It works better for teams composed of both tall and short people, and the more limber you are, the better.

I am not limber at all, and my team was quite short, being composed of mostly young children.

The game that did me in was a room full of tap lights. The goal, as a team, is to tap all the lights that come on before the time runs out. Well it turns out, four walls are just covered with these tap lights, and I was the only one who could jump high enough to reach the top row.

I spent the last 30 seconds of the round literally jumping, smacking, and stepping to the next spot, around the entire perimeter of the room!

But we won, after which I immediately grabbed my knees like a basketball player in overtime. I’ve made athletes run this drill before on the volleyball court, but I’ve never done it myself. My sincerest apologies to all my former middle blockers!

After Amuse Museum, we hit Zaxby’s on our way to the Pompeii exhibit at Graceland. (See, a real field trip!)

I’d like to praise the cashier at Zaxby’s who asked for my name, asked me to repeat it, and then honestly typed with a straight face what she believed I had said: “Dorky.”

I saved the receipt for a laugh.

But the whole staff committed to it, calling loudly and clearly for the whole patronage to hear when our food was ready for pickup. “DORKY?”

My name is Dorothy. It used to be a classic name, but now I guess it’ll just be DOT for pickups.

The Pompeii exhibit just stunned me, showing so many well-preserved actual artifacts from the first century. Even the teens enjoyed it, although (and perhaps because) many of the artifacts were nude art.

I asked if we could please be adults about this, but the answer was literally no.

A short video showing what scientists believe happened on the day Vesuvius erupted impacted me the most, likely because of the observer’s point-of-view blast from the ash surge, almost like a jump scare.

Then I left the kids at home to enjoy a small-venue performance by the Quark Theatre in Memphis of a phenomenal play called “Body of Water.” The intimate space really challenged the three seasoned actors, as we could see all their expressions as if they were in our living room. A pensive piece with plenty of comic moments that our teens would have enjoyed–and I might return with them!

On Sunday, I took my pianist to a piano performance hosted by Prizm at the Crosstown Concourse. I had never really considered these smaller venues, but I’ll definitely keep my ear to the ground from now on. For an entrance price of $15 per ticket, you almost can’t beat it! Add to that the intimacy of a small but exceptional performance by celebrity and accomplished musicians, and it feels like you’re the luckiest person alive.

The energy element did catch up to me though, around 8 p.m. Sunday night. I felt like it was midnight. I could not keep my eyes open.

I lay my head on my daughter’s lap on the couch while finishing up movie night with a hint of a satisfied smile, and I let the thought linger, “This is the sign of a very successful family weekend.”

Then she piped up, “I’m too tired to go to school tomorrow! Can you homeschool me?”

I laughed. I just don’t have the energy for that.

”Dorky” Wilson lives in Marion with her husband Chris as they enjoy all of the little adventures life with their seven children brings.

Dorothy WIlson

The Marion Mom