October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

O ctober is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Domestic violence happens all across the world, to people of all income levels, races, gender, religions, and sexual orientation. Domestic violence is not always easy to spot. It doesn’t always come with bruises or a black eye. Victims may not always be in immediate danger, but feel controlled or scared, and secretly be forced into doing something they don’t want to or be constantly intimidated. The abuser’s treatment is not random, nor is it impulsive. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

Abusers know what they’re doing and when and how they’re going to do it. Abusers are manipulating individuals. Abusers don’t come into their victim’s lives making confessions about their abusive behavior. In reality, they are often some of the most charming, thoughtful and romantic people you’ll ever meet. Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse or intimate partner violence, is identified by a pattern of continuing abusive behavior toward another person in an effort to gain and maintain power and control. Most likely, the abuser of domestic violence is a current or former spouse or dating partner, or a person who has cohabitated with the victim, such as a family member or roommate.

Sometimes, domestic violence can also be a caretaker, someone trusted to care for a disabled individual or elderly relative, or a landlord who has used tactics of power and control over a tenant. Domestic violence involves males and females as victims. Abusers can commit domestic violence against anyone young,old, rich, poor, gay, straight, educated or not. Any ethnicity, any gender, any location. Abusers may target people who have said they would never let it happen to them. Abusers may find victims who grew up with domestic violence and vowed to never repeat the cycle. No one willingly gets into a relationship with an abuser.

Many people assume that domestic violence is just violence. That it is only physical violence between two people who are in a relationship. That is one piece of it, but there are a lot of types of domestic abuse that when they’re not physical, victims can tend to minimize them or not realize that they’re abusive, because the gut feelings can often be confusing. Domestic violence is a pattern of power and control that is found out over time, and it generally always escalates. So, what it is, it’s one partner or one person using various tactics such as, verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, toward the victim or their partner or their parent, and they’re using that as a way to control them.

It is the abusers using power and control as a way to make the victim’s life powerless by controlling their access to resources, friends and family. Abuse leaves the victim feeling isolated and unsafe, but with the right support, survivors can leave believing that they are safe and can survive. Providing support to those in our communities that have suffered from domestic violence is important in helping them reclaim their lives. Most victims do not leave their abusers because of financial uncertainty, becoming homeless and shame. And worst their abuser killing them.

Everyone knows someone that’s affected by domestic violence, whether you can see it or not. That someone could be a family member, a neighbor, a coworker, or a friend. Domestic violence affects everyone, and everyone must be a part of the solution. One way to prevent becoming a victim is by providing early education about signs to look for, and how to report abusive behavior and leaving harmful relationships.

Everyone has the right to live without being abused. During Domestic Violence Awareness Month and beyond, all communities should find ways to focus on helping the victims through connecting with advocates and agencies. Collaborations between safe houses and other contributing organizations will form a solid connection that will provide more resources for the victims, If you know of anyone being abused or you are a victim, help is available. Contact your local authorities immediately.

Sherry Holliman is a concerned citizen of Crittenden County and has some views on a variety of topics that she wants to share with her neighbors. She previously served on the Marion City Council.

Sherry Holliman

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