Dealing with life’s annoyances

Circumstances can be annoying. Your car won’t start. You wind up on the slowest checkout line at the supermarket. You can’t find something. There are no open parking spaces at the mall. The movie you want to see is sold out. An item you wanted to buy is out of stock. It rains all weekend. The cable goes out just as your favorite show comes on.

The actions of others can also be annoying. Another person is rude. Someone doesn’t hold the door. A car cuts you off. A waiter gives you poor service. People are talking during a movie. Your boss is in a bad mood.

The list of irritations is practically endless.

They have an uncanny tendency to pop up at the worst times.

It’s virtually impossible to get through a day without encountering someone or something annoying. Annoying issues can pop up without warning at any time or any place. Your frame of mind at the time of an annoyance determines your reaction, or whether you react at all.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, the smallest annoyance can seem overwhelming. Challenging situations have a cumulative effect. They can wear you down, magnifying the impact of successive events.

Small, insignificant happenings then feel like major events. As a result, you may overreact which can exacerbate the impact of an originally minor annoyance. When minor events get blown out of proportion, they transform into major situations.

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From page A4

It is hard to be happy when you are constantly feeling annoyed. People who are miserable find they encounter an endless stream of crisis situations.

In reality, they are merely overreacting to what are minor annoyances to those in a good frame of mind.

Furthermore, miserable people actually attract the very circumstances they would like to avoid.

Left unchecked, annoyances will spiral out of control until they become a major event. Road rage is one example. Rude, or even unintentional behavior, can trigger uncontrolled anger that can have tragic results. When you allow you emotions to go haywire, you will say or do things you may, at the very least, regret.

When you are in good spirits, annoyances don’t seem to matter much, if at all. With an upbeat attitude, you just shrug things off. Also, you tend to find solutions much more readily than when you are stressed.

What techniques can you use to keep life’s annoyances from becoming major calamities? Start by keeping things in perspective. You know when a situation is an annoyance rather than a major event.

Stay calm. Say to yourself, “this is no big deal.”

Let it go. Don’t allow your ego to take over.

You do not have to prove anything. It’s not necessary to teach someone a lesson. Things happen that are not anyone’s fault.

When you look to assign blame, you make a situation worse. Besides, the annoyance might be a result of your own actions.

Don’t be paranoid. A “why does this always happen to me” attitude won’t accomplish anything positive. People are not out to get you. You are not being targeted. Everyone has to deal with annoyances. You’ve gotten past them before and you will do so again.

Allow annoyances to roll off your back. In the big, and little, scheme of things they really don’t matter, nor are they worth getting bent out of shape over. Annoyances will always be a part of your life. Look to always make the best of a situation. Laugh more. There is some humor in virtually every situation. The more you let the small stuff go, the happier you will be.

Now available: “ Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www. Bryan-Golden. com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E- mail Bryan at bryan@ columnist. com or write him c/ o this paper.