Reconciled, Part II

Reconciled, Part II

‘AWord From the Pastor’ By Clayton Adams

My second job was working in the automotive department for the Montgomery Wards store in Green Bay, Wisconsin. While stocking shelves one day, I heard the service department manager say to his wife on the phone during a heated conversation, “I am a man, and a man never apologizes!” Almost 40 years have passed and I remember where he was behind the counter, his red face and those exact words along with his anger.

I suppose this experience sticks in my mind because of the mans' reasoning, “I am a man, and a man never apologizes.” This was so contrary to what I had been taught and believed then and now. In Sunday School and at home, I was taught and I learned why, how, when and where to apologize. To hear of another in a position of authority say he never apologizes to anyone was a shock. Men in particular should be leading by example and apologize when feelings have been hurt, when cultural norms have been violated or when simple human kindness has been crushed. Real men do apologize for their wrong, critical, sarcastic and unkind actions and comments. Real Christian men understand that by apologizing they are in their heart and in their deeds they are following after Christ.

In last weeks column, I wrote that God has given to us the “…ministry of reconciliation,” as given by the apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:18-20. I want the people in our communities to be reconciled with each other. I want Christian churches to be reconciled with each other. I want churches that have experienced a schism and a divide to be reconciled. But how do we reconcile ourselves with each other? Blaming someone else living or dead does no good. Shifting responsibility to a group or an individual only stirs up more strife. We have too much strife already. Our country has been divided along racial, income and what is called “privilege” for too long. I am tired of strife, are you?

At an early age we each learn life isn't easy – but I have NOT found one indication in the Bible that any part of life would be easy. Scripture provides the knowledge and wisdom to deal with the unfairness of life. For instance, we know that all things have a time appointed to them; separation, reunion, life, death, peace, war, and every other event. “There is an appointed time for everything and everything event under heaven has an appointed time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) To properly reconcile ourselves with another we must, according to Scripture, first be reconciled with God. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19; Ephesians 2:1-16; Colossians 1:20 and others) Reconciling isn't approving or accepting the actions, words or lifestyle of others, it is accepting the person. Christ did not approve of the lifestyle of the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:9), nor did He approve of the woman brought to him on the charge of adultery (John 8:3) and He did not approve of the crimes committed by the thief on the cross (Luke 23) but Christ did accept each one. Christ accepted these and others for who they could be in His grace.

It was while Christ was hanging on the cross that He reconciled all people to the Father through His life giving sacrifice. To properly reconcile with others we must first be reconciled with God and this is only done through Jesus Christ. It is at the foot of the Cross that true reconciliation begins and is understood.

Secondly, we must follow the example Christ set “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them…” (2 Corinthians 5:18-19) Simply said, we must stop the practice of keeping count of how many times we are offended or hurt or “been done wrong” by someone. Keeping score does nothing to aid in forgiving and the process of reconciliation. Keeping score separates friends, families, neighbors, communities and nations.

There is always a reason why a person acts the way he/she acts. If one stops keeping score of the wrongs endured, one might be able to understand them as a person, their hurts, their thought processes. It's the practice of first seeking to understand then to be understood. Our culture doesn't encourage this practice, texting doesn't promote picking up on the non-verbal gestures, facial reactions. Moreover, most people demand their “rights” while disavowing those “rights” come with great responsibility. Most people want to be heard and to state their view. Few are those who truly desire to understand first.

Thirdly, reconciliation is an act of sacrifice. Perhaps this is why Paul wrote the eloquent and instructive, “Therefore I urge you, brothers, by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship.” (Romans 12:1) The opposite of reconciliation is to reject someone, to live estranged from another. We were created not to live estranged but to live reconciled, in harmony with each other.

True reconciliation comes from a very deep and personal desire and demands personal sacrifice. Christ sacrificed living in heaven and in glory to live in a sin filled and sick world and then die on the cross to justify and to reconcile us with God the Father. Christ's example must be understood and used as the framework to reconcile with others. How much one desires to be reconciled with another will set the boundaries for enduring and levels of sacrifice. Romans 12:2 tells how we can accomplish the first verse. When put into practice, Romans 12:1& 2 are powerful!

When Christ reconciled the world of people to the Father, it wasn't easy. “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:1-3) These verses answer the question of how Christ accomplished what He did on the cross. Jesus simply kept his focus on pleasing the Father. This is why we are to focus on Christ. Gaze upon circumstances, other people or your feelings and very soon you will be very unhappy and discontented with life, others, Christ and yourself.

Sometimes reconciliation is very quick, a heart felt apology is sometimes all it takes. However, most often, reconciliation is a process and sometimes a long process. One must be willing to invest time, money and emotional energy in the process of reconciliation. Answer the question of how much do you want to be reconciled and you will have the answer as to what you are willing to endure to bring about reconciliation.

I urge you to start the process of being reconciled with whomever you have been separated. Remember, reconcile does not mean to approve, it simply means to accept and begin anew. When we reconcile with someone this is as close to being godly and Christ-like as we can become. I believe it will be worth it in your life! Reconciliation is a gift, a grace, a ministry, an opportunity and a testimony.

Clayton Adams is pastor at Earle First Assembly of God. You can e- mail him at cpalaa@ yahoo. com, or find Earle First Assembly on Facebook.