You never want what’s behind ‘ Door Number 3’

You never want what’s behind ‘ Door Number 3’

Judge Thorne offers man ‘ Big Deal of the Day’ on warrant charge

news@theeveningtimes.com

“How do you plead to disorderly conduct?” asked Judge Fred Thorne to the man in front of him in West Memphis District Court.

“Guilty.”

“How do you plead to public intoxication?”

”Guilty.”

“You had been drinking quite a lot.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What were you drinking?” “Blue Top.”

“Where do you live?”

“I live with my mother.”

“You have had numerous public intoxication charges. $500 plus court costs and 10 days. I’ll merge the disorderly in with the PI’s.”

Aman in jail was called up. “I’m sure this is a PI or loitering.”

“It’s worse than that,” said the court attorney.

After Judge Thorne looked at his charges he said, “Go talk to the public defender. You’ve got some serious charges.”

A woman in jail was called up.

“You are in jail for something more than this aren’t you?”

“Her family paid her fine in Marion,” said the court clerk.

“Where do you live?”

“Sunset,” said her mother in the courtroom.

“I was hoping you’d say St. Louis,” said Judge Thorne. “You can go. Stay out of trouble.”

“I promise I will,” said the woman in jail.

“Don’t say that! It hardly ever happens.”

A man in jail was told to come back for his trial on Sept. 19.

“I have to be at a trial for mental health on that date.”

His mother was in the courtroom and said, “No, that is Aug. 19.”

The man in jail called his mother by her first name. “Is she there?”

“Don’t ever call your mother by her first name! Don’t ever do that in my court!”

“You can bond him out today, Mother, but be sure and be back here on Sept. 19. Maybe we can teach him some manners before then.” A woman in jail’s name was called.

“Jail, this woman needs to be evaluated by Mental Health. Have her back here on Monday with their evaluation.”

A man in the courtroom pled not guilty to no proof of insurance and not guilty to non-working brake lights.

“Set him to appear Aug. 29, in front of Judge Blackman. He likes to give 100 hours of community service.”

A young lady was charged with improper windshield and driving without a permit. She pled no contest to both charges.

“Did you get the windshield fixed?” “Yes, sir.”

“What grade are you in?”

“12th.”

“How old are you?”

“17. I had a permit to drive by myself. The police officer did not look at the back of my license.”

The bailiff looked at her license and showed them to the court attorney.

“Sit down, grandmother. I want her mother up here with her.”

“I wanted to tell you good things about my granddaughter,” said the grandmother.

“I’ll dismiss the charges. Now you can talk, grandmother.”

“She has already finished college.”

“How does it feel, young lady, to be smarter than your mother and grandmother? I know them both and they are fine women. Now get out of here.”

A man was called up.

“You owe $230. How do you plead to failure to pay?” “No contest.”

“He paid $131 and went to driver’s school,” said the court clerk.

“Do you have proof you went to driver’s school?”

“No.”

“Here’s your choices: Door Number 1, pay $195 plus court costs today and two days house arrest. Door Number 2, you can change your plea to not guilty and find the receipt and if you are found guilty at your trial you can get 90 days jail and $1000 fine.”

“He has an outstanding warrant. The check he paid with bounced,” said the clerk.

“Oh, we may have a Door Number 3. You may have gotten the Big Deal of the Day! Go to the window and find out what you have to do.”

A man in the courtroom was charged with having a dog with no tags and running at large. He pled guilty to both charges. He also had a failure to appear and pled guilty.

“What kind of dog is this and I hope you won’t say pit.”

“She is a lab. She had her shots but I didn’t have the papers on her.”

“$85 plus court costs on the tags. I will suspend the running at large. Your license has been suspended because of your failure to appear. You will have to pay the $100 to get them back.”

“I don’t have the money.”

“You won’t need it if you ride a bicycle.”

Awoman charged with violation of her protective order pled not guilty.

“Set her trial on the last Tuesday of this month. I’ll be here and skip my golf date.”

A woman in the courtroom charged with theft and three counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor pled not guilty.

“Ma’am, if there are kids involved in your theft, this won’t be good.”

“I know I’m not supposed to talk but I would like two weeks to hire an attorney.”

“You are absolutely right to hire an attorney because you are going to need one. Be back here two weeks from today.”

Aman in court for a review was charged with failure to appear.

“Not guilty.”

“You were first charged with domestic battery. Give him a trial date.”

“I want to change that to no contest.”

“All you had to do was pay the fines but you didn’t show up. You are going to jail today. Jail let him out tomorrow at 5 p.m. Your next review date is Oct. 10. Do you want me to keep this on your record or do you want to do one day of jail?”

“Jail.”

A young man with his father was called up before Judge Thorne.

“Did you do your community service?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you have proof with you that you did it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“30 hours?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What happens if you have to come back to my court?”

“You will put me under the jail?”

“That’s right. And your father, too!”

Judge Fred Thorne

By the Evening Times News Staff