Holiday horrors
VIEWPOINT
By RALPH HARDIN
Evening Times Editor I ’ve written here before about how I like horror movies.
This past October I spent a lot of time re-watching some of my favorite “slasher” movies. You know, the ones where the maniac takes out the unsuspecting teens one by one, usually in increasingly creative and violent until the big showdown with the lone survivor (often referred to as the “final girl”) in the finale.
They were all the rage in the late 1970s and well into the 1980s, until endless retreads and sequels set in and audiences kind of got burned out on ideas like “OK, what if this time, the killer is in outer space?” or “Sure, the bad guy died but what if there was a copycat killer?” They’re making a bit of a comeback these days, so that’s cool.
But that was October, so it was time to say goodbye to Jason and Freddy and Michael for a while. Now, there really aren’t a lot of Thanksgiving-themed movies out there – horror or otherwise – so I was pleased to see they finally gave the holiday a slasher film of its own. It’s simply called “Thanksgiving,” kind of like the other “day-themed” horror movies of old, like “Halloween,” “Prom Night,” “My Bloody Valentine,” “April Fool’s Day” and such.
Yeah, so, it’s about a guy dressed like a Pilgrim terrorizing a small town and picking off its citizens in horrific ways. Like any good slasher, it’s campy and over-the-top. I don’t think it will become a Thanksgiving night viewing tradition like football and “The Wizard of Oz” were when I was a kid, but if you’re into those kinds of movies and fondly remember renting “Chucky” or “Leprechaun” or “Slumber Party Massacre” from Blockbuster back in the day, I highly recommend checking it out. Fun fact: I actually used to work at Blockbuster Video back in the early 1990s, and you would not believe how popular even the dumbest horror movies were. Like, we couldn’t keep “Leprechaun in the Hood” or “Child’s Play 3” or any of the cheaply made “Amityville Horror” spinoffs in stock.
Of course, there are a ton of Christmas-themed horror movies, ranging from the kid-friendly “A Nightmare before Christmas” to the very dark “Black Christmas.” You could even count “Gremlins,” although it barely qualifies as scary, but it did spawn a rash of knock-offs like “Critters” and “Ghoulies” that lean much further into the horror genre.
“Silent Night, Deadly Night” is up there in Christmas- themed horror offerings. It’s basically “What if Michael Myers from ‘Halloween’ did his murderous rampage on December 25th instead of October 31st. I think there are a couple of sequels and even a recent remake. In recent years there have been a couple of clever movies that are really more like horror-comedies, like “It’s a Wonderful Knife” and “Violent Night” – the latter of which is basically “What if ‘Die Hard’ really was a Christmas movie and Bruce Willis’s role was played by Santa Claus?”
There really is a little something for everyone. Ever worried about an evil snowman? Well, then check out “Jack Frost.” Of course, you need to be careful with that one, as there’s a movie with the same name that is just a delightful family movie starring Michael Keaton about a Dad who dies and comes back reincarnated as a snowman.
There’s “Krampus,” about a monster who’s basically an evil, judgment-levying Santa Claus based on an old German folktale. I personally was threatened and teased as a kid by my parents with warnings that the very similar Belsnickel would come and take my toys away if I acted badly, but as far as I know, he has not to date, gotten his own movie – although he was on an episode of “Supernatural” once, and “The Office.”
If you like the classic horror tropes, there’s the vampire- themed “Red Christmas” or “Red Snow.” If you like holiday treats, maybe watch “The Gingerbread Man,” which I actually haven’t seen, but the concept looks amazingly bad (in a fun, goofy horror movie kind of way).
You can’t tell from the title, but “I Trapped the Devil” has an overall holiday theme to it and is pretty straightforward horror, as are “Wind Chill” and “Holidays” and “Ghosts” – although again, pay attention on that last one, otherwise you’ll end up with the funny CBS TV show instead of a scary movie.
Of course, half the fun of the holiday-themed horror movies is the goofy titles. There’s “Secret Santa,” “Toys of Terror,” “Christmas Bloody Christmas,” and although I have not seen it, there’s a “Friday the 13th” meets “Santa Claus” flick with the amazing title of “The 13 Slays of Christmas” that I absolutely will be tracking down this holiday season.