Forgiving Yourself

Forgiving Yourself

‘AWord from the Pastor’ By Clayton Adams

The marks of a committed Christian include such qualities as love, grace, mercy and forgiveness. Jesus said, “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:14-15) It is difficult to forgive others because we falsely believe that forgiving is connected to forgetting but forgiving isn't forgetting. Some believe that if we forgive then we are in someway approving of what someone did or even excusing what the person did. Forgiving is not any of those things either. Perhaps the most difficult person to forgive is yourself.

Nowhere in the Bible is it stated that we are to “forgive and forget.” Forgiving is difficult but forgetting is near impossible. God gave us a mind to remember, to learn, to store and retrieve information. Stop trying to forget.

Jesus carefully chose His twelve disciples, each of them brought some quality, ability and potential into His ministry team. He knew their faults, weaknesses and tendencies. I do not know why Jesus picked Peter and Judas as disciples but I am glad He did. Both men provide an important lesson about forgiving myself and maybe you.

Peter, as you may remember, denied knowing Jesus three times. This is recorded for us in Matthew 26:74-75 “Then he (Peter) began to curse and swear, “I do not know the man!” And immediately a rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the word which Jesus had said, “Before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” And he (Peter) went out and wept bitterly.”

Peter the strong, outspoken, self-confidant and courageous man failed in the areas he was strongest in. It was in these very strengths that peter had fallen hard. Peter had failed Jesus.

The money manager for Jesus was Judas. Judas usually kept the finances for Jesus and the other disciples. Judas's strength was managing or controlling money. Much like Peter, Judas failed in his strength too. Judas had failed Jesus.

Judas betrayed Jesus for thirty- pieces of silver never thinking that Jesus would be condemned to death. Reading the account of Judas provides an understanding of the inner turmoil and failure Judas experienced and the inability to forgive himself for his betrayal of Jesus.

“Now when morning came, all the chief priests and the elders of the people conferred together against Jesus to put Him to death; and they bound Him, and led Him away and delivered Him to Pilate the governor. Then when Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that He had been condemned, he felt remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” But they said, “What is that to us? See to that yourself!” And he threw the pieces of silver into the temple sanctuary and departed; and he went away and hanged himself.” (Matthew 27:1-5) I believe the reason Judas felt remorse was because he never thought that Jesus would be condemned to death. Judas' sin took him much farther down the road than what he thought. Sin does this to us. Sin costs more than we are willing to pay, takes us farther down the road than we wanted to go and leaves us empty, full of remorse and guilt. This is where Peter and Judas were. Miserable, remorseful, afraid, lonely, and wishing they could have their fateful decision reversed.

Perhaps you find yourself in the same situation as Peter and Judas, miserable, full of sorrow, afraid, lonely and wishing against all hope to reverse a comment or an action. We all have experienced these feelings. But there is more of the story we need to know.

Both disciples betrayed Jesus. Both were guilty and filled with remorse, sorrow and shame. Feelings of guilt if not properly addressed in ones life will have very real physical and emotional impacts ranging from headaches, negatively impacting the immune system and can lead to depression and to thoughts of suicide as in Judas' case. Sooner or later the betrayal, the guilt and remorse must be properly addressed.

Overwhelmed with guilt, Judas saw no other way out of the consequences of his decision than to end his own life. If I trust God for my eternal life should I not trust Him for Judas or my brother or a stranger? God is just, God is merciful and God is gracious and “…where sin abounds, grace does much more abound.” (Romans 5:20) God is far greater in mercy and grace than what we give Him credit for having. Suicide is not the unforgivable sin, according to Jesus, blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is the unforgivable sin. What can be done about our remorse, sorrow, and guilt? We must turn to Jesus and His conversation with Peter. After denying Jesus, Peter did hang around to see what happened but after Jesus died on the Cross and was resurrected we read in John 21:15-17 of a very intimate conversation between Jesus and Peter.

Jesus brought Peter to a point in his life where the guilt, remorse and sorrow he had for denying Jesus was forever washed away and was freed from the self-imposed prison. Fast forward to Acts chapter two when Peter was forgiven and filled with the Spirit of God, preached his very first message and 3,000 people were saved. I am glad to read, “He (God) has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” (Psalm 103:12) When sin, guilt, and sorrow fills the human heart there is no place for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness or self-control. The only way to rid oneself of the sin, guilt, remorse and sorrow is to turn it over to Jesus. Ask Jesus to forgive you and “…He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) We must come to Jesus and ask Him to forgive us and allow Him to heal us. Only then will the heavy and deadly weight of sin, guilt and remorse be removed. We have two choices: We can run to Jesus or we can run from Jesus. Peter ran to Jesus and Judas ran away. Forgiveness is always available from Jesus, always.

Immediately when we ask for forgiveness God does forgive us and the enemy comes against us in our minds. God does not bring your sin up to you again, He can't, He's already discarded it. But the enemy Satan, he will come against you in greater ferocity and with accusations constantly bringing your sin to your remembrances. Satan doesn't want you to forget. The battle now lies in your mind. Our only defense is to stand on the Word of God when in battle with the evil one. Remind yourself of God's Word, just as Jesus did.

“There is now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1) “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;” (Ephesians 2:8) “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For our weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that raises itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” (2 Corinthians 10:3-5) We were never asked to “forget” our sins we were only asked by God to take them to His Son Jesus who paid the price for our sins. Lift your head, receive the forgiveness from Jesus, learn from your mistakes and “Grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18) Clayton Adams is pastor at Earle First Assembly of God.

You can e- mail him at cpalaa@ yahoo. com, or find Earle First Assembly on Facebook.